Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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