I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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