I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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