Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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