In America we eat man semen.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
