Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
