something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
