you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
