got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
this boner is exhausting
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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