oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
