what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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