im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
