yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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