What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
