This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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