If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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