The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
