508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
