What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I need a beard to bite.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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