ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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