She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
