covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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