I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
