just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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