If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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