So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
