i don't like sucking hair
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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