why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
