Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
