if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
