I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
where does the pee come out of this thing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
