i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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