the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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