i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
