if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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