And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
