my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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