you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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