Porn is love you can see.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
