My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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