His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
