im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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