just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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