I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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