I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
