You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
