don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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