he shaved USA in his pubs
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
