I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
