thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
