My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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